Sooo...
You know, I really don't like the things around me and myself anymore. Everything's changed. A lot of things changed. "ME" in the "PAST" is really really different from "ME" today as well as the THINGS IN THE PAST and THE THINGS TODAY. I don't know who I am right now. I feel like I'm always sad. I over think of things. I'm always stress. I'm becoming very sensitive and emotional.
I hate this feeling and I feel like this everyday. I really don't know how to cope up with this feeling. It's really really difficult. The crazy,funny and happy ME disappears.
Well, people think that there's nothing wrong, as if I am happy and as if I don't have a problem. Maybe because I am really good at hiding what I truly feel and pretending that I am happy and that nothing is wrong but they don't know that I'm really really really sad. They don't know what I've been going through. I don't know why and what causes me to be like this and to feel like this but I think and guess that maybe it's the changes that is happening around me which causes me to be and feel like this. For me, It's really really difficult to ACCEPT changes especially at the moment when you're already contented of what you have.
Umm.. Today, Aug.04,2012, is our Acquaintance Party and I didn't go. You know why ? just a simple reason. I'M TIRED and DON'T LIKE TO FEEL TIRED. I don't mean PHYSICALLY TIRED but EMOTIONALLY TIRED.
I don't want to feel insecure and get jealous to my fellow students who will be performing this night because I will just be remembering the past and it will just give me pain. To be honest, I really miss DANCING and PERFORMING if there is an activity in the school. DANCING IS MY PASSION but I gave it up. I had promised that if we will be the champion in our PE FINAL EXAM last March 04,2012, I will stop dancing and the reason why I thought of that consequence is confidential.
I advice people to be optimistic and not to be pessimistic. Its easy to say to other people but to apply it on myself, Its difficult for me "now". I really hope that I will not over think of things. Come what may and I should accept everything that will happen to me ...
(sigh) I hope the old me will go back ... THE CRAZY,FUNNY,TALKATIVE and JOKER ME.. :(
that would be all for now ..
-k2i6e6.kaimen-
